Before you start · for whoever is leading
Note for group leaders: the classic stages of grief, denial, anger, bargaining, depression, acceptance, come from Elisabeth Kübler-Ross, who developed them with people facing death. The familiar five-stage model can name some experiences people have in grief, but it is not a required sequence. People do not necessarily experience every stage, and grief rarely unfolds in a straight line. Familiarity with them still helps you help others navigate. This session can surface heavy things. Keep the care note within reach, and do not carry anything serious alone.
One verse says where the Lord is when a heart breaks.
Read it slowly, and notice who He saves.
Then read the invitation Jesus gives to the weary, and what He promises them.
Psalm 34:17-18 | Matthew 11:28-30
Tap a tool, then tap words. Highlight what gets your attention · underline what God is doing or saying · circle a repeated or unfamiliar word.
Read it aloud, then give everyone two minutes to mark it in silence.
Read both passages slowly. Notice where the Lord is when hearts break, who He saves, who Jesus invites, and what He promises. What details stand out? What surprises you?
Psalm 34:17-18: The Lord is near the brokenhearted.
Matthew 11:28-30: Come to me, all you who are weary, and I will give you rest.
Mark it:
- Underline what God is doing or saying.
- Circle a word that repeats, or one you don’t understand.
- Highlight whatever gets your attention, even if you can’t say why.
Psalm 34:17-18
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18
Matthew 11:28-30
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29
30
Psalm 34:17-18
17
18
Matthew 11:28-30
28
29
30
NET Scripture quoted by permission. Quotations designated (NET) are from the NET Bible® copyright ©1996, 2019 by Biblical Studies Press, L.L.C. netbible.com
What stood out?
Go around the room. Each person reads one thing they marked. If you know why it stood out, say so. If you don’t, “it just stood out” is a complete answer. Nobody explains, nobody corrects.
Your markings are saved on this device and will be here when you come back.
Growing Through Grief
Even good transitions can carry grief because every meaningful change includes some kind of loss. Scripture tells us how God’s people grieve, lament, hope, remember, and receive comfort. Grief research can help us describe some common human experiences. Things to know about grief:
Grief is a journey, and the Lord is close to the brokenhearted all along it (Psalm 34:18). It is not a one-time event but an ongoing process; anniversaries, birthdays, and certain triggers can bring grief back even years later. Grief has no timeline (Ecclesiastes 3:1): some people might seem fine after a few months, while others may take years, and both are normal. Grief can shake your faith (Psalm 73:21-22): it can make you question your beliefs, your purpose, and even God's presence.
Grieve the lost future: mourning the future you imagined, the milestones that will not be shared. Grief involves letting go: releasing what was lost in a healthy way makes room for new attachments and the next phases of living. Grief is unique to everyone: there is no normal way to grieve. And rediscovering yourself takes time: grief changes you, and finding your new self is part of the journey. Bring all of it to Jesus, who invites the weary and burdened to come to Him (Matthew 11:28).
And we help one another grieve. Recognize resistance as grief: it often comes from loss, not a dislike of change. Create and maintain safe spaces where feelings of loss can be openly expressed and validated (Galatians 6:2). Don't take resistance personally: anger and blame are natural parts of the process, and they reflect the person's pain, not your efficacy (Romans 12:15). Promote realistic optimism: weeping may stay for the night, but rejoicing comes in the morning (Psalm 30:5). Engage in active listening (James 1:19). And lead by example: we need to need God in every moment (Matthew 5:6; John 15:5).
Discussion questions
- Which of the things to know about grief names something you have lived?
- Who around you is grieving, and what would it look like to mourn with them rather than fix them?
Write it out.
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Let’s pray together
Pray for those in the room who are grieving, without hurry and without silver linings.
Ask the Lord who is close to the brokenhearted to make His closeness felt.
- What loss, recent or long ago, still needs to be grieved rather than managed?
- What lost future do you need to mourn with God?
Leave space for silence. Sometimes the truest prayer in the room is presence.
Let’s pray
Breakthrough is when God's Kingdom breaks into your reality: His closeness where your heart is broken, His rest where you are weary. Pray from that Kingdom, not toward it.
Be still for a moment. Open your hands and simply pray: “Come, Holy Spirit.”
Write down the loss that still needs to be grieved rather than managed, and the lost future you need to mourn with God. Bring both to the one who is close to the brokenhearted, and write down any comfort, Scripture, or impression you sense while you pray.
You can pray more than once. Stay present, and trust that God is at work. Take your time; there is no hurry.
Choose one. Say it out loud so someone else hears it.
Next time you gather, share what you practiced and how God used it, not for pressure but for encouragement.
The reminder downloads as a calendar event. Open it and it lands on your calendar for tomorrow morning.