Before you start · for whoever is leading
Note for group leaders: with the goal-of-the-study paragraph, have the group notice the words secure, supported, and empowered, and then confession, repentance, prayer, worship, accountability, and mutual encouragement, and discuss which of these matter most for growing in faith and for the community's values. On Proverbs 27:6, have participants put it in their own words and say whether they believe it is true.
Paul describes a church that has stopped being blown around by every wind.
Read what he says a mature body does with the truth, and what the whole body grows in.
Then read the proverb, and notice whose wounds can be trusted.
Ephesians 4:1-16 | Proverbs 27:6
Tap a tool, then tap words. Highlight what gets your attention · underline what God is doing or saying · circle a repeated or unfamiliar word.
Read it aloud, then give everyone two minutes to mark it in silence.
Read both passages slowly. Notice the calling Paul begins from, what speaking the truth in love grows the body into, and whose wounds the proverb says can be trusted. What details stand out? What surprises you?
Ephesians 4:1-16: Speaking the truth in love, we grow into the mature body of Christ.
Proverbs 27:6: Wounds from a friend can be trusted.
Mark it:
- Underline what God is doing or saying.
- Circle a word that repeats, or one you don’t understand.
- Highlight whatever gets your attention, even if you can’t say why.
Ephesians 4:1-16
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Proverbs 27:6
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Ephesians 4:1-16
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Proverbs 27:6
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NET Scripture quoted by permission. Quotations designated (NET) are from the NET Bible® copyright ©1996, 2019 by Biblical Studies Press, L.L.C. netbible.com
What stood out?
Go around the room. Each person reads one thing they marked. If you know why it stood out, say so. If you don’t, “it just stood out” is a complete answer. Nobody explains, nobody corrects.
Your markings are saved on this device and will be here when you come back.
Speaking Truth in Love
Paul opens with the call to live a life worthy of our calling, and the progression matters: God's calling precedes our holy living. Without a sense of God's call on our lives, to himself, holy living can become self-righteousness and behavior modification. And Paul identifies holy living beyond personal morality; it comes through humility, patience, and bearing with one another. When the body of Christ is mature, we speak the truth in love as an invitation to the fullness of God, not just to inform or prove a point.
Speaking the truth in love. Honest feedback helps build trust and foster growth; think of Nathan's confrontation with David in 2 Samuel 12, which led to David's repentance and growth. Kim Scott’s Radical Candor, a workplace leadership framework, pairs the same two things, caring personally while challenging directly; it is an outside picture, but it illuminates the principle. Balancing truth and love ensures that feedback is constructive and compassionate, the way Paul's letters combine encouragement with correction.
Hearing the truth in love. Gaslighting is manipulating someone into questioning their own reality or feelings; in a conflict, avoid phrases like you're overreacting or you're just being sensitive, which dismiss the other person's feelings. Humility in listening means truly hearing others without jumping to defense, being open to feedback and willing to acknowledge our own shortcomings: everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry (James 1:19). And constructive conversations focus on improvement rather than blame: if someone is caught in a sin, you who live by the Spirit should restore that person gently (Galatians 6:1).
God's calling precedes our holy living; our ‘reason’ for holy living is our ‘response’ to being called by God.
Read this one out loud.
Discussion questions
- How can we practice speaking the truth in love in our daily interactions?
- What challenges do we face when giving or receiving honest feedback?
- How can we ensure that our communication builds trust and strengthens our community?
Write it out.
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Let’s pray together
Pray for the courage to speak the truth in love, and for the humility to receive feedback graciously.
Ask God to help you build honest and loving communication within your community.
- Is there a true thing you have been avoiding saying to someone you love?
- Is there honest feedback you have been refusing to hear?
Leave space for silence, listening, and Spirit-led prayer. If someone senses a word, a Scripture, or a picture for another, offer it gently and pray into it.
Let’s pray
Breakthrough is when God's Kingdom breaks into your reality: His courage where you have gone quiet, His gentleness where you have gone hard. Pray from that Kingdom, not toward it.
Be still for a moment. Open your hands and simply pray: “Come, Holy Spirit.”
Write down the true thing you have been avoiding saying, and the honest feedback you have been refusing to hear. Pray for the courage to speak the truth in love and the humility to receive it, and write down any encouragement, Scripture, or impression you sense while you pray.
You can pray more than once. Stay present, and trust that God is at work. Take your time; there is no hurry.
Choose one. Say it out loud so someone else hears it.
Next time you gather, share what you practiced and how God used it, not for pressure but for encouragement.
The reminder downloads as a calendar event. Open it and it lands on your calendar for tomorrow morning.
Done.
God's calling precedes our holy living; our ‘reason’ for holy living is our ‘response’ to being called by God.