Before you start · for whoever is leading
Note for group leaders: David's love for Jonathan gets questioned because our culture struggles to embrace intimacy without sex. Sex can happen without intimacy, and intimacy can happen without sex; intimate friendships are often lacking because of this misunderstanding. The intimacy of community is crucial for transformation, identity, and destiny, and there is a higher value in intimate relationships with people who reflect what God sees in you. Also worth naming: the golden rule of Luke 6:31 works as long as I want good done to me, but sometimes we treat ourselves how our sins deserve to be treated and do the same to others, which is why Jesus gives the new command of John 13:34.
David has just killed the giant, and he is still holding the head when he meets Jonathan.
Read what happens between them, and what Jonathan takes off and hands over.
Then notice which of the two scenes the rest of David's life is built on.
1 Samuel 17:50-58 | 1 Samuel 18:1-5
Tap a tool, then tap words. Highlight what gets your attention · underline what God is doing or saying · circle a repeated or unfamiliar word.
Read it aloud, then give everyone two minutes to mark it in silence.
Read the passage slowly. Notice what David has just done, what Jonathan does the moment they meet, and what Jonathan gives him. What details stand out? What surprises you?
1 Samuel 17:50-58: David triumphs over the Philistine and is brought before Saul.
1 Samuel 18:1-5: Jonathan loves David and seals a covenant with him.
Mark it:
- Underline what God is doing or saying.
- Circle a word that repeats, or one you don’t understand.
- Highlight whatever gets your attention, even if you can’t say why.
1 Samuel 17:50-58
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1 Samuel 18:1-5
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1 Samuel 17:50-58
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1 Samuel 18:1-5
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Read 1 Samuel 17:50-58; 1 Samuel 18:1-5 in the New Living Translation
1 Samuel 17:50-58
1 Samuel 18:1-5
NET Scripture quoted by permission. Quotations designated (NET) are from the NET Bible® copyright ©1996, 2019 by Biblical Studies Press, L.L.C. netbible.com
What stood out?
Go around the room. Each person reads one thing they marked. If you know why it stood out, say so. If you don’t, “it just stood out” is a complete answer. Nobody explains, nobody corrects.
Your markings are saved on this device and will be here when you come back.
Community
David was a man after God's own heart, but no one else saw it. David was always only as good as what he could do for people: shepherd for his father, warrior for Saul, rescuer for the people. Love was always because of what he could do, not who he was. Jonathan looked at David and loved him. Saw. Knew. Loved.
God called David, Samuel anointed him, and the nation loved him. But it's here, in Jonathan, that David finally experienced what God saw. It's here that David is finally loved beyond what he could bring or do. That's why he celebrates the way Jonathan loved him: your love for me was wonderful (2 Samuel 1:26). Intimacy is the gateway to our transformation, identity, and destiny.
In 1 Samuel 18, David has just killed Goliath, and he brings the head. But Goliath wasn't the key. The giant died quickly, and things that die easy aren't the real problem. Our obstacles and battles are rarely the key to our destiny; oftentimes the real challenge is navigating relationships. What if your breakthrough isn't through lions, bears, Goliath, or Philistines? It's not just the things God leads us through; it's the people who He leads us to. David's right to the Kingdom is birthed out of his ability to be loved by Jonathan, not his ability to kill.
So we want to give some attention to community: people who God is changing together, so they can bring about change together. Christian community is about living out our faith in Jesus by coming together as a group of believers. When we do this, we reflect His nature and character through mutual love, support, and a commitment to follow Christ's teachings. This community is bound by shared vision, beliefs, values, and a collective pursuit of spiritual growth and service.
The values for connecting in Christian community: We love as we have been loved (Luke 6:31; John 13:34-35). Jesus gives a new command, don't love how you want to be loved, because we don't know how; love how God has loved you. We give and receive (1 Peter 4:10). Healthy relationships involve both giving and receiving; this reflects God's triune nature, because love gives and receives. We value being interested over interesting (Philippians 2:4; James 1:19). Ask yourself, have I been talking more or listening more? And faithfulness matters more than outcomes (Isaiah 6:8-10; Hebrews 11:13). In Scripture, God calls His people to act even when the outcome is not what they expected. Staying faithful to God's call is more important than immediate results.
It's not just the things God leads us through; it's the people who He leads us to.
Read this one out loud.
Discussion questions
- What steps can you take this week to deepen a relationship within Christian community?
- How can you be a source of support for someone else in the group?
- Share a time when you remained faithful to a commitment, even when you didn't see immediate results. How did staying faithful impact your faith and your relationship with God?
Write it out.
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Let’s pray together
Spend time in prayer, asking God to guide you in your efforts to connect with others.
Pray for one another to be loved beyond what you can bring or do, the way Jonathan loved David.
- Where are you still being valued for what you can do rather than who you are?
- Who has God placed in your life that He may be leading you to?
Leave space for silence, listening, and Spirit-led prayer. If someone senses a word, a Scripture, or a picture for another, offer it gently and pray into it.
Let’s pray
Breakthrough is when God's Kingdom breaks into your reality: His presence where there is loneliness, His love where you have only known usefulness. Pray from that Kingdom, not toward it.
Be still for a moment. Open your hands and simply pray: “Come, Holy Spirit.”
Write down where you are still being valued for what you can do rather than who you are, and who God may be leading you to. Ask God to let you experience what He sees in you, and write down any encouragement, Scripture, or impression you sense while you pray.
You can pray more than once. Stay present, and trust that God is at work. Take your time; there is no hurry.
Choose one. Say it out loud so someone else hears it.
Next time you gather, share what you practiced and how God used it, not for pressure but for encouragement.
The reminder downloads as a calendar event. Open it and it lands on your calendar for tomorrow morning.
Done.
It's not just the things God leads us through; it's the people who He leads us to.